_.bingzhen._[me]

2003-11-19T23:10:00.000+08:00

bored bored bored bored!!!! everyone seemed too busy... sigh! had lectures in school today... almost a total of 6 hrs? n i dun catch a single thing for chem!?!?... (at least a lil on math)... argh... so fed up... felt as though i was sitting in the wrong lecture... well oh well... today was no biggie... not to mention boring as usual! slacked as usual... omg... y dun i feel any mood to do anything!?!?.. oh no... i can't... i need to ENJOY my hols... stupid JC life! bleaghz.. ok.. shall stop it. oh alright.. was rude to my parents again?... hate myself for that... y do i keep shouting?... *yuck* *gross*! ... guess it's one the days... hope my grumpy days go away soon!! *sob*... tummie's so in PAIN... sob!! *cry*bored to tears... SO MANY things to do.. no mood to start?!!??!? help...ah!! lalalalala.... hey realised i used alot of "I"s... sigh! better care more for others huh?i dunnoe.. alright... i'm starting to talk crap again... but anyway.. who cares... whu gonna even read this blog rite? sigh... was REALLI looking forward to catching up with everybody.... am i the only one SO FREE?... oh no... *sigh*

2003-11-17T00:50:00.000+08:00

let me conclude... life's beautiful... this time i'm sure i right. *smiles*

2003-11-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me-eeeeeeeeee, happy birthday to me! *hehe*... u know wad? I had NEVER expected my birthday to be so WONDEFUL this year...n wad more? i had an best moments of my life the day b4 my birthday too.. it was almost like a dream come to think about it? *bliss*.. i had never felt so blessed , blessed... blessed!!!!.... i finally got my 1st ring!!!!.. thank you God n my angels for blessing me with this fortune!!!! hmmm ... let me tell u about it? *ahems*... jesmund spend the 1st few hours of it with me.. *blessed*... i couldn't ask for anything better yeap i so wanna thank those angels of mine that flooded my miserable phone... *winks* sorry mommy n daddie i aint home for the 1st min of my b'day!!! n thanx mommikins n daddikins for letting me stay out til this late! I realised that i have unknowingly the bestest best parents EVA! yesh... vicky 's sms was the VERY 1st sms i recieved. wad can i say?.. she's my angel too!!!! who else will remember the b'day that well besides her? heee.. thanx sweeetie.. u realli made my birthday a birthday! *honest*! n omg she still wanna buy me a prezzie? well haha b4 i start my thanking session.. i better juz breeze through my sunday.. on this very day? 16112003? I recieved my 1st bouquet of tulips... total of 7... 17 birthdez kisses... haaa... an ELLE tote bag... a personal birthday CD... *winks*.. i had a huge hong bao from my parents!! *hee*!! had the tastiest lunch at holland v's crsytal jade rest... met shengtao for a while.. thanx dude for going all the way to china juz to get my b'day prezzie for me!!! met my two galfrends bee n VA... they gave me an orange notefile from kino? haha!! thanx yah? oh no.. my brithday juz passed haha... thanx everyone!!!! *bows* dingsheng .. never eva misjudge this guy.. he remembered my birthday! he's the only jesmund's frend that remembered my b'daY!!! *muwhaahhaa...* n even gave me something!!! ah!! thankiew thankiew! my phone was flooded . those culprits are, besides those i juz mentioned, hongxin, chong long, paul, VA, clara, my dear dear hahaha... , karen, aditya, siew kim, candice, alvin, shawn, kim, jifang (forced by VA to say), YY!, serena, yueting! haha, junlin , my korkor tianlin ,Shengtao!!! =] =] =] .. , HANNAH called to sing b'day song!!!... germain called to play the birthday song on piano for me!!!!.... besides... the weather today was wonderful... =] sigh i couldn't ask for anything more!!! to think i actually thought kim, kc n yy will forgot about my b'day... but guess wad? they left the prezzie at the doorstep of my door! (n they happily left no names ? thank you ah!) went chinatown for dinner? haha!! coolioz... luv jesmund luv him luv him luv him luv him! will miss him the whole week... gonna start missing him.. it started already... oh thank you... thank you so much! whoever did remembered my birthday... 16th nov 2003.. on that very sunday... i became the most blissful lil 17 yr old girl alive... jesmund made the most of it. thank you.

2003-11-04T17:10:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling damn pissed with my parents i tell u? . . . some kinda communication break down or wad? argh.. no matter how much i tolerate... it never works! i dun mean to be rude but argh... everything they say juz made my blood boils... when i say something they'll mistook it as another thing.. dun they get wad i'm saying?? i'm speaking english for goodness sake.... argh..... so angry...... juz quarelled with my daddie.. dun feel good man.. it's juz video editing i need him to help with.. then he went to confuse me n argh.... nvm.. will cool down soon.

2003-10-27T18:54:00.000+08:00

i could find any reason to cry today. seriously wasn't feeling good. i was lucky no one saw it. so now.. i'm juz gonna let it all out into this blog n i'm gonna let it go.... have u ever feel that when all yr friends are laughing n having fun... u dun feel like it? it's like.. someting's bothering u but u dun know exactly wad it is... it's like.. u can't smile no matter how much u tell yrself there's nuthing wrong?.. or wait.. maybe there's something wrong n yet u can't seem to know wad it is.. that's wad bothering u? i always wonder.. how have my life turned out to be like wad it is today... i used to think i've achieved pretty much to the optimum that i can somehow feel confident about.. but in this totally new environment in college had brought me one thing... everyone's so much better than me. I'm not trying to discriminate myself... but everybody in this lil place had proved to me that i haven done much... so much so that i can almost conclude i'm the onli one feeling inferior...cold.. afraid...alone.. i know everyone cares.. but sometimes u can't realli help it.... the world seems so cold....faced so much all alone...scared to move on, in knowing how fast i've grown. n i wonder... juz where i fit in.. i dunnoe... it's like something's putting a barrier between me n my friends.. the complexity of it scares the wit outta me i could only swallow it.. i'm running away from it.. it feels good ... at least for now.. but it's not wad it seems.. they want to know wad's wrong with me.. but how can am i suppose to tell them? the only stupid thing i found myself doing is shake my head n fake a smile. am i trying to act strong or am i such a coward. argh. wad has gotten into me... my temper had been so horrible i think i made a fool of myself today.. reacting badly in any situation.. wad else can i do then pull a long face.. that's so disgusting.... fancy getting jealous cuz yr two good pals are closer than they r to u? jealous cuz kim seemed to be having such cool friends n everything.. jealous cuz everyone's having fun except u?.. wad was i thinking?? tell u i've never seen such a loser like myself ever b4... y do i always wallow myself in self-pity... it's not that bad? yr juz making it worst... well at least i'll feel better after scolding myself... *SIGH* let juz say it haven been a good day for me today.. it was self-declared.... it's better to let it out.. well dun think it makes any sense but it makes sense y i'm doing this. IT's ALL OVER... so let's juz forget about it.. n yeah.. smile.. heeee... clement juz said hi to me... i missed him.. he taught me how to let go.. he's coming back to this lil island in dec... hope we won't feel weird seeing each other again after so much... after so much change i've gone through til today... well nuthing beats having a bath now!!!! heeheheheheeeeee... once again.. sorrie if i realli vandalised this blog... feel better now yup. =]
crying? not me.

2003-10-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

lalalalala... lazy day today! was about to admit the fact that i'm gonna stay home the whole day til i realised, after my dad received a call from my civics tutor, that XYZ of jj was damn furious about the j1s not attending school today. So... my day started off with panic n then soon hectic. breakfast 1st with jes of cuz... had conference with both bee n v.a.. n guess wad? we hafta get a MC to survive in jjc on monday.. so we went to clementi's polyclinic... n i ended up with the only one who hafta wear the stupid mask cuz i told the nurse i'm coming due to coughs.. *damn* it was horrible la! haha.. the air i was breathing out became hot after awhile n my specs grew fog kaes! *lol*... well we suceeded in getting our MCs.. so off we head for lunch at suntec.. (ended up stopping at almost every clothie shop i pass there!) n then slacked at fullerton hotel.. (played a lil pillow fight! oppsie?).. n then off we go to our destination.. ---> changi airport!!! hahahahaa... went there to see planes.. so cool.. wished i could go aus.. *cross fingers* oh btw.. i have a new "account" which is called friendster! go sign up at http://www.friendster.com! man u'll never believe how many friends u are actually connected with! hee... well this was roughly wad i did for today yea.. gonna meet ellen tmr morning! we're gonna wear the same top to the VJ open house later on!!! haha... cool babes! =X well alright.. tired n lazy to say anything more.. glad to skipped school today!

2003-10-16T16:44:00.000+08:00

howdie peeps... i'm SO TIRED!!!!!! dvewdehdmdxwxcmedcxw <---jesmund's masterpiece. (kill him for me) haha.. yea yeap my internet got screwed up last night so i can't update! &$@#%@!#%$#%.. *beep* *beep* heee... well yesterday was WOOH... haha... okie let me recap a lil... feeling a lil sick today.... ER...ER.... okie for yesterday had the most irritating project work argh... haha was an hour late even though i woke up so darn early... y? cuz i was busy preparing for jesmund's gift... haha.. so yeah anyway i was lucky the meeting ends at 1145.. so i kinda rushed home... SO HAPPY to get out of school cuz i wasn't wearing proper school u....*phewz* anyway i had tummie cramps in the morning.. can things get any better? CAN....cuz the whole day was booked for him.. heee..... guessed wad we were both dressed in white! haha.. so furnie... i can send the pic to u if u wan a look at it of cuz.. hee.. well yeap went to marina area.. .1st to buy the tix to "MATCHSTICK MAN" , a so-called movie.. n yea wallked to fullerton hotel!! i luv that hotel! soooooooooo CLASS!!! haha... posh ah... went there to take photos.. wedding photos!! =X *lol* n then walked to one fullerton to admire the sea.. with the wind blowing again... n with him there.. it felt wonderful... OH YAH... almost slipped my mind.. i saw clara at marina's mos burger studying with her friend sandy yah... haha was surprised initially... okie then we went into esplande to open our anniversary prezzies! he gave me the sweeetest thing... ayumi's CD.. hee.. guess wad i gave him? awww come on just guess... =X.. well went for movies in the evening followed by dinner n a ride home.. sounds boring huh? but i never had the best day eva for such a long time... hehe... yeap.. so here it is... 15th oct 2003... happy 2 months anniversary boi.... ^^;

2003-10-14T22:18:00.000+08:00

haha my body never felt so achie for ages!! woke up in the morning feeling like an old grannie... NICE... today's morning plan wasn't too good... cuz 1stly.. i was left all alone at home n 2ndly.. it rained! so i can't meet him! *sob*... well things got better later in the morning.. played piano for him to listen... haha guess u'll never believe that a sportie person like him would play the piano?... i taught him how!! n he's good for a beginner i tell ya.. *ShhhHHH*... haha.. jia you dear! met my two buddies later on.. ask u ah... heard of a movie called 2nd-hand lion?? yah "HUH?!" was my 1st reaction too yeah? heee... oh well.. there's such movie... furnie ah?... 0% publicity eh! haha.. oh well went shopping with my two buddies val n bee! bought stuff yeah... many stuff i guess?.. shhhhhh.... must keep a low profile today... nuthing much happened la.. oh yeah went running with hannah later in the evening in sch... not bad.. at least i ran! haha...today's nothing's special.. tmr'll be... u'll know y tmr...

2003-10-14T00:33:00.000+08:00

a brand new day again... never felt better... we're getting better... it realli does seemed that we're trying to make it WORK... luv him for that... well listening to justin's senorita... it rocks man! haha.. ya know ? i suddenly have the urge to just run everyday?.. strange isn't it?.. maybe running DOES make me felt better... kaes.. let me update u now eh? alright why on earth am i sweating it out for?... well tennis! haha yes tennis.. believe it or not... just kinda played a lil.. but the best part was the run at night with jesmund's buddy... not that jes' bud's running with me but cuz i've never felt so good running again... (i miss obs!!!!) the memories... sleeping as a whole watch together under the stars... cheering each other during the 6km run EVERYDAY.. haha.. well yup back to where i was! haha.. pardon me.. my organisation isn't on good terms with me... guess learning's part n parcel of life realli... priorities... oh KAE~.. where was i?! haha.. oops.. oh yea.. he walked me home after that... n my mom saw us... i was actually expecting some reaction from her.. but she just casually talked with jes.. i almost forgot to breathe man! haha.. i can't believe she's not gonna object.. guess it's all thanx to the word TRUST... hee.. so darn happie about it.. but i reckon none of this happen without my friends being there for me.. they're angels i realli must say... hope they find their wings soon... yeap.. going into NATURE with him later in the morn... heee... guess i've nuthing more to say than ending with this...

i'm lovin' it.

2003-10-13T14:43:00.000+08:00

halo... guess where i'm... hmmm... i'm not gonna say.... =P... well i woke up so darn early today i've the slightest idea so dun ask me y... yup but guess wad... i dreamt of him... sweet huh? oh well... shall update u later... gonna sweat it out later.. ciao!

2003-10-13T12:26:00.000+08:00

one word. blessed. that's how i'm feeling now. yea.. last sat night was the most horrible one but it got better.. well i went out to esplande area yesterday to get some fresh air.. actually went there with my godbro cuz anyway it's his 21st birthday TODAY!...so i could just easily treat him haagen dazs ice-cream.. hee... yea we talked n he actually made me feel so much better... the weather was just right.. though it rained a lil here n there.. with the wind blowing through my hair.. i'd tell u i've never felt better just standing at the "jetty"... met hannah later on... she looked so sweet... n guess wad... she came just to accompany me.. luv her for that!... we walked around esplande n yea catch up with each other... it was just cool.. n i bet u won't believe this but we actually sneaked into fulleton hotel!!! *sniggles* haha.. n there we went acting so high-class... ya know the way high-class ppl walks n all that? yea we did those!! *lol*!! n we were like acting crazy... fancy us exploring the whole building! n no one realised we were intruders! heee... well the longest time we spent was the sofa outside the ballroom... man was the atmosphere so darn *POSH*... we were greeted by music where it came straight from a few violin players n a piano... i'm too speechless for words how relax i felt.. i can't help but smile n laugh with hannah thoughout the whole hotel thingy...
met him later on for dinner.. kinda wondered how my day'll end up to be like.. cuz we kinda quarrelled... but it all ended up well... i can never tell you how delighted i was yesterday with him... well we actually TALKED it out... it's only the beginning.. there's still a long way to go... it takes time to change for the better... but i'm willing to take that challenge.. yeap! i was thinking if relationships were perfect.. then wouldn't we be called angels?.. haha.. so i guess having petty quarrels is a normal thing in a relationship... just poves that both cares for each other.. i shall see it this way...*cross fingers*n yea.. i finally see us smiling to one another..

2003-10-12T10:33:00.000+08:00

morning blog... sigh.. just wad. i've never cried so much last night... can't sleep last night... had such a nightmare... so i woke up darn early today... think i'm going out later to get some fresh air... sometimes i realli wondered... this is wad i realli call life?.. then i better be strong... thanx vik for being there for me til one this morning... i can't find any better friends like u... i'm sure there's gotta be more to life.. i don't believe it's this horrible... i don't believe it won't get better... it will ... yah.. just need time to do some soul searching... it's not the end of the world yah?.. don't think i'll hear from him today... won't disturb him either.. i wan him to do well for his A's... that's wad matters... i will always miss him.. well action speak louder than words.. i'm sure he does too... i hope i can find the cd... there's nuthing but all our precious moments we shared... the onli thing i wish for now is to see us happy together again n that i'll see that cd again... then it'll be perfect. life's still beautiful i guess. amen.

2003-10-12T00:54:00.000+08:00

dearest blog... i've never been so hurt b4. Why can't he understand girls' hearts are fragile n will always be?.. can't he be a lil caring or loving at least?i can't help it. i'm scared. now i'm no one to him except a gal who always cry at the slightest drawbacks n not understand him at all. please God.. please.... don't... i trust him..y is he always saying stuff that makes me cry.... why is he always treating me so cold.. *broken*

2003-10-11T18:08:00.000+08:00

my very 1st posting! yay... hey hey hey babes n dudes! well just an ordinary in this little bustling city of singapore... here i'm slacking at home after promos that ended *ahem* YESTERDAY!!.. with my computer in front of me *duh* playing of staccie orico's more to life n the blowing of the air-con as i wonder realli how different life has turned out to be... almost the whole of 2003 has passed so unknowingly at such an intense pace that i barely noticed how fate can be changed just like that...at the beggining..life in a junior college..spending most of my life being in the campus...participating in the never-ending strings of activities..mugging for maddening tests and cramming for my promos...basically being an 'all-school-girl'..i never dared think i would find the HIM with that kinda hectic school life... but look where am i now...attached to who i thought is the cutest guy in college... n i've grown to love him more as the days pass...i've also fostered friendships with unlikely people n they have never made my life any more special....
life really has a hack of surprising people...but its all part n parcel of its beauty...it all sums up to the fact that i couldn't be more satisfied..

_____.bingzhen._____[me]

_.bingzhen._[me]